Supporting Your Partner Through PMDD and Severe PMS: A Partner's Perspective

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PMDD Support from your partner

As someone who has once suffered with PMDD, I know and understand the firsthand anguish and heaviness I carried around. While this completely affected me because I was the one living with it, it also affected those around me greatly. 

In particular, my husband John - lived through the side effects of my triggers. While I was the one living WITH the symptoms of PMDD - he as my partner was in this war with me, he too experienced the cyclical storm’s aftermath. This blog aims to shed light and provide tips on how partners can effectively support their loved ones dealing with PMDD or severe PMS.

Understanding PMDD and Severe PMS

First and foremost, it is crucial to understand what PMDD and severe PMS are. These conditions go beyond the typical symptoms of PMS and can significantly impact mental health and daily functioning. It's not just "a bad period"; it's a complex health issue that requires empathy and understanding.

Tips for Supporting Your Partner

  1. Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn about PMDD and severe PMS. Understanding the symptoms and their impact can help you empathize with what your partner is going through. Finding support groups that can help you navigate this world and help you understand that you aren’t alone is extremely effective. Click HERE for a PMDD partner support group.
  2. Open Communication: Encourage open and non-judgmental communication. Let your partner express how they feel without the fear of being misunderstood or dismissed.
  3. Be Patient: There will be tough days. Patience is key. Understand that mood swings and emotional outbursts are part of the condition, not a reflection of your relationship.
  4. Help with Daily Tasks: During particularly tough days, offer to help with daily chores or responsibilities. This can significantly ease your partner's stress and physical discomfort.
  5. Encourage Professional Help: Support your partner in seeking professional help, be it through therapy, medical advice, or support groups. Your encouragement can be a great motivator for them to seek the help they need. 
  6. Be Present: Sometimes, the best support you can offer is simply being there. Your presence can provide comfort and stability during turbulent times.
  7. Manage Your Own Stress: Supporting a partner through PMDD or severe PMS can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to take care of your own mental health too.
  8. Track her Cycle and Plan Ahead: If possible, plan around the times when symptoms are expected to be at their peak. Understanding these conditions' cyclical nature can help prepare for tougher days.  Click HERE for a favorite cycle tracker app.
  9. Offer Emotional Support: Small gestures of love and support can go a long way. A reassuring hug, listening attentively, or simply saying, “I’m here for you,” can make a huge difference.
  10. Respect Their Needs: There may be times when your partner needs space. Respecting their need for solitude or quiet can be as important as providing active support.

“At times the PMDD emotional roller coaster can be overwhelming. Do not try and control it. Do not try and fight it. Instead, just be as kind and supportive as you possibly can. If it becomes too much to handle just let her know you are going to leave for a bit and get some air or go see a friend or relative but that you love her and only want what is best for her.” - John Boehmer

In Summary

Supporting a partner with PMDD or severe PMS is about patience, understanding, and empathy. It’s about being there in the ways that matter most – listening, helping, and simply being present. Remember, your support can make a profound difference in your partner's journey through the challenging times brought on by PMDD or severe PMS. While it’s not always easy, the strength of your relationship can grow through these experiences, building a deeper understanding and connection.

To learn more about PMDD and RTT visit my website.